Stream-of-Conciousness Experiment

I set my creative force free on a Word document. I just let my thoughts flow, typing everything, and it looked interesting, so thought I would document it here. It makes literally no sense at all, but this is pure, raw, unadulterated emotion and thought, so maybe it doesn't have to. But nonetheless, here we go.

Spin cycle in my mind her and i not meant to DON'T SAY IT so far to carry on one of three one is more one may be less not worth the YES it is for her if i had my way id cut the calluses off your off your breaking heart if i could get past the mountain range between Were not the perfect things in poetry we're the imperfect things in life and maybe thats OK imperfection makes perfection like in her her radiance makes me want to hold that which cant be held my emotions taken by one who can't make her own and leaving me with no hope to reinstate but then her and now this and now im whole again but can i stay this way what if she DON'T THINK THAT 6 feet deep is the incision in my heart the barless prison hold on to me and never let me go she said she would but im not worth the energy it takes to say i love you she never said it first maybe that should have warned me of what she LEAVE HER OUT OF THIS she is in the past and the past is dead and buried and i should look to the future but no future can ever be what i want law of the universe brandon can never be totally happy something has to block him like distance or religion or love for another and once upon a time from the binds of my loneliness i was a worthless waste a wraith in the solid world but she made me feel like i wasn't and then she did and now i dont know what i am just brandon and maybe brandon is all i need to be.

Any questions about this I could TRY and answer. All I know is I take lines from at least three songs and insert them almost at random. I have also managed to figure out, after multiple re-readings there are, in fact, at least TWO hers mentioned, possibly three, and they are anything BUT random. I can't tell which her refers to who, all I know is one of them has to be Rowan, and one other possibly could be my ex.

Am I the only one who feels like this is a passage from Finnegan's Wake, minus the made up language? Lol. Anyway,

Stay Nerdy All