Why is life so damn hard? It makes me have to pretend I don't want to rip my hair out everytime she says his name. I have to pretend that I'm ok. Some would say it's just a rebound effect, so I'll get over it, but I don't think I will. Why do I even care? She's happy, I don't need to mess that up by doing anything. She has said she won't date me. She has also said she would. Her two previous boyfriends were both douches, and I hate to think this one is too, but track records show otherwise. He seems like a nice guy. Maybe that's what kills me. He is a nice guy. He won't mess around on her, he won't hit her, he won't do anything to hurt her at all. Neither would I. But she's with him, and not with me, which means she won't break up with him for me. I understand why no one would date me. I would be the first to admit I'm not exactly a keeper, look-wise. I am about a 2. She's an 11. You can't jump more then 2 levels. It's pipe dreams. I wish I could get over it. I'm a teenager. The prime of my life, and I'm spending my days trying to hang out with her every second I possibly can, and my nights dreaming about her. I need to just stop dreaming and put my feet on the ground, get my head out of the clouds, and get the f**k on with my life. But the ground is a scary place. There's shadows and eyes in the dark. With my head in the clouds, there's a chance life can go the way I want it to. But life sucks. It's a fact. Life irks me.
If she reads this, she'll know who she is, and yes, I am a pathetic person.
Let me tell you something, love.
ReplyDeleteThe nerds win. I know this is hard to believe, especially considering you go to high school in a town the size of my pinky toe. But it's true. The guys who were ugly freaky nerds in high school are the ones who wind up marrying smart attractive women, because eventually those smart attractive women get sick of taking shit from the handsome guys who treat them like dirt.